31 Days of Self Love05 / 12 / 2016
My coach asked me what I felt my mission was. Reflecting on the past couple of years, I decided that my mission was to be an example of unconditional self love. As our conversation went on, I realized that I had a long way to go in loving myself before I could be an example to anybody. And thus, the “31 Days of Self Love Celebration” was born. For 31 days, I would post on Facebook things I loved about myself.
Some days I posted about things I’m really proud of. My intelligence, my smile, my eyes… It made me soooo uncomfortable. It felt like showing off. Having the support of my community allowed me to see that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me owning all of the awesome things I had to offer.
Other days I posted about things I’ve apologized for, things I’ve been told were negative… I sent love to those areas of my life, and finally owned them too.. My natural hair, my messiness, my disinterest in style, my spirituality. It felt so empowering to put those things out there and publicly say “I’m not apologizing anymore. I am who I am, take it or leave it.”
There were some days it made me extremely uncomfortable.. and I was over it. But there’s something about Facebook accountability that pushes me to get things done (remember that water challenge last year?).
The results of this project have been really interesting:
I’m feeling fully “seen”. A year ago, most people who knew me casually would have described me as bubbly, talented and sweet. While that is true, I’m sooooo much deeper than that. But how could I expect people to describe me with more depth if I’d never SHOWN them more depth? By finally owning all of who I am, and doing it publicly, I’m allowing people to see the bigger picture, and not just the smile I used to hide behind.
It’s inspired others to look within and focus on the things they love about themselves. People I know that aren’t even connected to me on FB started reaching out saying “Hey – I saw your Self Love thing on FB! I think I want to try it!” Obviously, there’s a greater need for this. We get so many messages from society that there’s something wrong with us.
Another interesting indirect result of this was that about halfway through this “31 Days of Self Love” thing, there was a really attractive, charming, fun guy that popped up and showed interest in me! Heeeey! Lord knows I wasn’t looking so I really don’t think that’s a coincidence. I’ve seen time and time again that the people around me generally mirror how I feel about myself. So the timing of this is not surprising. Ooooo! Exciting, right?
Only one small problem.. It’s really easy to be on a self-love high when I’m by myself. Insert a man into the picture and suddenly it’s.. “Waaaaaiiitttt!!! But what if I’m not good enough! Yes, he’s shown interest, but what if he really gets to know me and changes his mind!!!”
And then I hear my coach’s voice in the back of my head.. “Stop telling yourself that the more people get to know you, the less they’ll like you. The opposite is true!” Still, if there was ever a time I needed to be constantly reminding myself of my value, this was the time. (Well played, Universe!)
So now, at the end of the 31 days, I’ve finally gotten to the point where I feel like “I’m an amazing woman! I have so much to offer the world. Even with my quirks and idiosyncrasies, any man would be really fortunate to have my attention. My value is not on trial here.”
Now I can just relax. Que sera sera. With this guy.. my career.. my future… And I will love myself regardless.
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