Sade As My Muse04 / 27 / 2019

Last month I started posting pictures from my latest photo shoot. Within a week, I’d heard at least 5 comparisons to the singer Sade. Although it was unintentional, I could totally see it!

Soon after that, I started seeing Sade’s picture everywhere on social media. I figured it deserved some more exploration.

I’ve had an interesting relationship with Sade. Her “Stronger Than Pride” album stayed on repeat in my house during my childhood. When my Mom loves an album, trust me, you’ll know. So my first response to Sade’s music was generally, “Ugh! Mooooom, do you have to play it agaiiiiin?” 🙄

It was about 15-20 years later when I actually started to appreciate Sade. The vibrant rhythms, poignant lyrics and the smooth softness of her voice… It is really beautiful music when you listen without “Ugh!…

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Why I’ve Decided To Try Casual Dating04 / 20 / 2019

Confession: I’ve never done the “seeing multiple people at the same time and seeing what happens” thing. With the exception of a handful of dates than never went anywhere, I’ve mostly been dating like a middle schooler.. “I like you, you like me, now we go together.” 😂

In the past, as soon as I was interested in a man, he had my full undivided attention. 🥰 I was completely loyal and monogamous without any commitment on his part.

The problem was that it created an unhealthy attachment to the outcome. I’d approach every interaction with an attractive man with the attitude of “I really hope this works out” instead of “let’s just see what happens”. It created a feeling of anxiety while I waited to be “chosen” or “found”.…

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Dear “you’re not enough”/”you’re too much” voices (My Manifesto)04 / 20 / 2019

Dear “you’re not enough”/”you’re too much” voices,
Fuck off.
You’ve tortured me for the past 34 years.
And I’ve allowed it.
🥀I’ve allowed you to steal my joy.
🥀I’ve allowed you to wake me up in the middle of the night harassing me.
🥀I’ve allowed you to rob me of my self-care.
🥀I’ve allowed you to shut down my intuition.
🥀I’ve allowed you to translate every “no”, rejection and criticism into proof of my unworthiness.
🥀I’ve allowed you to keep me in a state of anxiety whenever faced with possible rejection.
🥀I’ve allowed you to keep me stuck in a cycle of attracting and entertaining unavailable men.
🥀I’ve allowed you to keep my boundaries weak.
🥀I’ve allowed you to rob me of the ability to enjoy my talent.…

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My 2019 Resolution03 / 08 / 2019

Is it too late for me to tell you about my New Years’ resolution? I know it’s the beginning of March.. I’ve just been so successful at this goal that I haven’t been making time to blog!

In 2019, my biggest goal is to have as much FUN as I can.

That probably sounds a little trite.. Let me explain..

When I imagined my life and career after college, it was supposed to go like this:

  • Complete my demo – Age 22
  • Shop demo to record labels – Age 23
  • Get signed and blow up – Age 24
  • Win a Grammy – Age 25
  • Find “The One” – Age 26
  • Get engaged – Age 28
  • Get married – Age 29
  • Travel the world and live the good life with my husband for a couple of years – Age 30-31
  • Get pregnant and start a family – Age 32

So imagine what it feels like to stare 35 in the face (Yes, honey!

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How much choice do we REALLY have in 2018?05 / 08 / 2018

“For 400 years? That sounds like a choice.”

I believe that the main reason why Kanye West’s recent statement about slavery has been so triggering has less to do with his disrespect of the ancestors and more to do with what he implied about our level of personal choice right now.

When there’s something important at stake and someone says “You had a choice”, it implies that you deserved the ramifications of that choice.

If there’s nothing at stake, then it doesn’t fucking matter. You had a choice between broccoli or cauliflower. You had a choice between the pink shirt or the striped shirt. No one cares.

If my lactose intolerant ass decides to eat some ice cream and then I have the runs, if you say “That sounds like a choice”, you’re implying that I deserve to have the runs.…Read More