Sade As My Muse04 / 27 / 2019

Last month I started posting pictures from my latest photo shoot. Within a week, I’d heard at least 5 comparisons to the singer Sade. Although it was unintentional, I could totally see it!

Soon after that, I started seeing Sade’s picture everywhere on social media. I figured it deserved some more exploration.

I’ve had an interesting relationship with Sade. Her “Stronger Than Pride” album stayed on repeat in my house during my childhood. When my Mom loves an album, trust me, you’ll know. So my first response to Sade’s music was generally, “Ugh! Mooooom, do you have to play it agaiiiiin?” 🙄

It was about 15-20 years later when I actually started to appreciate Sade. The vibrant rhythms, poignant lyrics and the smooth softness of her voice… It is really beautiful music when you listen without “Ugh!…

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Dear “you’re not enough”/”you’re too much” voices (My Manifesto)04 / 20 / 2019

Dear “you’re not enough”/”you’re too much” voices,
Fuck off.
You’ve tortured me for the past 34 years.
And I’ve allowed it.
🥀I’ve allowed you to steal my joy.
🥀I’ve allowed you to wake me up in the middle of the night harassing me.
🥀I’ve allowed you to rob me of my self-care.
🥀I’ve allowed you to shut down my intuition.
🥀I’ve allowed you to translate every “no”, rejection and criticism into proof of my unworthiness.
🥀I’ve allowed you to keep me in a state of anxiety whenever faced with possible rejection.
🥀I’ve allowed you to keep me stuck in a cycle of attracting and entertaining unavailable men.
🥀I’ve allowed you to keep my boundaries weak.
🥀I’ve allowed you to rob me of the ability to enjoy my talent.…

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My 2019 Resolution03 / 08 / 2019

Is it too late for me to tell you about my New Years’ resolution? I know it’s the beginning of March.. I’ve just been so successful at this goal that I haven’t been making time to blog!

In 2019, my biggest goal is to have as much FUN as I can.

That probably sounds a little trite.. Let me explain..

When I imagined my life and career after college, it was supposed to go like this:

  • Complete my demo – Age 22
  • Shop demo to record labels – Age 23
  • Get signed and blow up – Age 24
  • Win a Grammy – Age 25
  • Find “The One” – Age 26
  • Get engaged – Age 28
  • Get married – Age 29
  • Travel the world and live the good life with my husband for a couple of years – Age 30-31
  • Get pregnant and start a family – Age 32

So imagine what it feels like to stare 35 in the face (Yes, honey!

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How much choice do we REALLY have in 2018?05 / 08 / 2018

“For 400 years? That sounds like a choice.”

I believe that the main reason why Kanye West’s recent statement about slavery has been so triggering has less to do with his disrespect of the ancestors and more to do with what he implied about our level of personal choice right now.

When there’s something important at stake and someone says “You had a choice”, it implies that you deserved the ramifications of that choice.

If there’s nothing at stake, then it doesn’t fucking matter. You had a choice between broccoli or cauliflower. You had a choice between the pink shirt or the striped shirt. No one cares.

If my lactose intolerant ass decides to eat some ice cream and then I have the runs, if you say “That sounds like a choice”, you’re implying that I deserve to have the runs.…Read More

My New Year’s Intention01 / 20 / 2018

My coach Jo-Na asked me to choose one word to guide the experience I want to create this year. The word came to me instantly: CONNECTION

What about Progress? Prosperity? Success?

Well, I absolutely want those too.. but most of all and at the root of it all, is a desire for connection.

I’ve spent the past few years peeling back layers and layers of fear: Fear that if I was fully myself, you wouldn’t like me. Fear that if you disapproved of me, you would make a point to tell me that. Fear that your criticism would hurt my feelings.

It’s strange… As an artist, I have a need to express myself freely and openly. When I’m not speaking up, I feel like I have a muzzle on.…Read More