Of all the anonymous comments I got when I surveying my mailing list this year, that comment stung the most. It stood out over and above all of the wonderful, positive feedback I received. Why was I so triggered by it? Because it reflected my own frustration that I wasn’t accomplishing my goals quickly enough.
My dream of being a professional singer started when I was 12. In pursuit of this dream, I studied piano, learned how to write songs, performed whenever I had the chance and recorded music with different aspiring producers in countless basement studios. After moving to NC to further my musical education, I continued on this path, squeezing in time for my personal music while getting my degrees and working..…Read More
“Cindy, your assignment this week is to slow the fuck down. Walk slower, talk slower, eat slower, text slower, dance slower. Write down what you notice.”
I giggled as my coach explained my assignment. I knew that I needed this. I was rushing from one experience to the next, constantly in a state of anxiety under the guise of a calm, cool demeanor.
“How was your week, Cindy?” I can’t remember. It was all a blur.
“What was your proudest accomplishment this year, Cindy?” Uhhh.. I don’t know.. Wait.. You mean to tell me I accomplished things this year? I feel like I’m not moving fast enough!!! I haven’t reached my dreams yet!!
Anxious and cranky.. Yep, slowing down was in order. …Read More
Man – I wish there was a “Music Videos For Dummies” Book.. Not just a book on storyboarding, lighting, types of shots, etc.. But a book that says “Hey artist, this is what YOU need to take into consideration when you’re going to be on camera!”
Record labels with big budgets and years of experience coach their artists on this stuff. DIY artists like myself get to figure it out through trial and error! 😬 There are some things that you just don’t know about shooting a music video until you’re in the middle of the process. Or after the process is over and you see the finished product.
When I first saw the footage from my first video shoot in May, I panicked!…Read More
My coach asked me what I felt my mission was. Reflecting on the past couple of years, I decided that my mission was to be an example of unconditional self love. As our conversation went on, I realized that I had a long way to go in loving myself before I could be an example to anybody. And thus, the “31 Days of Self Love Celebration” was born. For 31 days, I would post on Facebook things I loved about myself.
Some days I posted about things I’m really proud of. My intelligence, my smile, my eyes… It made me soooo uncomfortable. It felt like showing off. Having the support of my community allowed me to see that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me owning all of the awesome things I had to offer.…Read More
“You can’t love anyone else until you learn to love yourself!”
Yea, yea, yeaaaa.. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I’d be rich…
I tried it, though. I really did! I told myself I was beautiful. I made a list of all the things I loved about myself. I started dating myself, taking occasional trips to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, to Carnegie Hall, and to lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant.
So why was every intuitive person I ran into STILL telling me that I had worthiness issues and I needed to love myself more? What the hell?!? I was TRYING! What else was I supposed to do?!?
The interesting thing about worthiness issues is that they run pretty deeply.…Read More