My 2019 Resolution03 / 08 / 2019
Is it too late for me to tell you about my New Years’ resolution? I know it’s the beginning of March.. I’ve just been so successful at this goal that I haven’t been making time to blog!
In 2019, my biggest goal is to have as much FUN as I can.
That probably sounds a little trite.. Let me explain..
When I imagined my life and career after college, it was supposed to go like this:
- Complete my demo – Age 22
- Shop demo to record labels – Age 23
- Get signed and blow up – Age 24
- Win a Grammy – Age 25
- Find “The One” – Age 26
- Get engaged – Age 28
- Get married – Age 29
- Travel the world and live the good life with my husband for a couple of years – Age 30-31
- Get pregnant and start a family – Age 32
So imagine what it feels like to stare 35 in the face (Yes, honey! Black don’t crack. Okuuuur!?!) and realize that only one goal on the list has been accomplished (I’ve been at this so long that “demos” are now obsolete ?, so we’ll just substitute my EP release for that one).
The countdown to 35 raised some serious questions for me: What if I died without ever having the husband, kids or the Grammy? Would I feel like my entire life was a failure?
Prior to this year, my answer was “Yes“. I was extremely attached to reaching my Grammy-winning dreams. I saw them as a mandate from God. I literally felt like “I’m supposed to be a famous Grammy winning singer, and if I don’t accomplish that, then I’ve failed at my purpose in life.” (no pressure ?)
This year, there was a huge shift in my response to that question.
“Would I feel like a failure if I died without the fame and the Grammy?”
“Not if I lived each day to the fullest and had a shit ton of FUN!”
That answer felt GREAT! So I finally decided to take all pressure and attachment off my music career and life goals.. and I decided to just enjoy my life! I decided that my main goal for 2019 would simply be to HAVE FUN – In my life, in my business, in my relationships, and with my music.
So far, I’ve been jumping around in the ball pit at The Color Factory, getting blasted with neon paint at the local escape room, working on 3 Chopin nocturnes, taking dance classes, writing new music, having jam sessions with my neighbors, arranging music with my new band, doing podcast and radio interviews, decorating my new apartment, connecting with friends, I did a photo shoot.. I’ve even found ways to have more fun with adulting!
In no way am I giving up on being a successful musician. Truth be told, I’m ALREADY a successful musician – and I have the receipts to back that up (Literal financial receipts ?). I live an abundant, free lifestyle doing music as my full-time job. The only people I have to answer to are myself and God.
I realize that there are many artists who have checked all the boxes, accomplished all of the things on “the list”, and they’re still miserable.
It’s not about the list.
It never was.
It’s about how the things on the list make you feel.
If I can create those amazing feelings now, why wait for the Grammy, the husband, the kids?
So as we move through 2019, I’m continuing to cultivate a life that feels fun, successful, rich, juicy. I’m staying in gratitude for the long list of things I HAVE accomplished. I’m releasing my outdated list of goals and following what feels good. I’m squeezing all of the pleasure possible out of this year as it continues to fly by. Time flies where you’re having fun.
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